The Gods Have Fashioned Us For Love

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His pledge to her:
i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar. i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle. i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger, and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling, sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you.  i will love you. i will love you.
ask-koki-kariya:

suprarationality:

The Fault in Our Stepbrothers

Megan?Megan.

cordeliafoxxofficial:

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You can’t escape followers, i’ve already glued the door shut

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Nice try followers, but I replaced all the glass with rubber.

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Too late followers, I’ve already cloooggged all the toooiiiiillleeeetttts

(Source: corpish, via niceshoesbabyfucker)

floozys:

don’t buy that “love is a serious word” crap, love freely, love carelessly, love yourself, love that lady bird that just flew past, love that cutie that served you lunch at a cafe that you’ll probably never see again, love every single cat you see and when you stop loving someone or something, don’t fight it. i don’t know what love is but i know it’s not serious. 

(via buildingdreamsonshatteredhopes)

irvinatorr:

wow the fifty shades of grey movie looks intense

For those of you who are short on pickup lines:

ninjatengu:

Damn, are you an appendix? Because I don’t know how you work, but this feeling inside my stomach makes me want to take you out.

(via whatupwacie)